Missing Someone !! (sand In A Fist )

Your caress. Your eyes asking for help in the most silent way. Your unsuccesful movement of tongue to say my name. I miss the look on your face whenever i entered the room and u tried to speak to me. I dont know whether you can hear me now and i dint knew whether you heard me when you lay there looking at me with thousands of unexplained emotions. Like a book i m desperate to read but i dont know the language. I wish i had talked to you rather than sleeping in those cozy nights or when i spent the whole night doing any work. I remember the first day of my kindergarden when i was crying hard and you hugged me. I was not letting you go. I want to hug you in the same way now. I just want you to call my name once,just once. I could give anything to spend a moment with you. I know thats impossible but if i knew i would not have slept that night. I would have spent the whole night with your hands in mine. I would have passed hours just trying to read those eyes, caressing your hair, your broad forehead. I knew you were in pain but i was helpless. I knew you were asking for help but i couldnt. The reflex shutting of your eyes when the physician injected you is flashing before my eyes. The memory of your last smile is getting fade, like a winter morning haze. I am trying hard to regain the view, but i failed everytime and the only thing which comes to my eyes is your sad face. There are a lot of things i wanted to tell you. I once took five rupee coin from your pants without telling you. I should not have forced you to do things. I find myself guilty of your condition to an extent. I should have taken care of you in more better manner. I am missing you dad in every little manner, i am missing that expression of yours when i asked for money, i am missing that scolding of yours when i did something wrong. Now when i do something bad or immoral it looks to me that you will come from behind and scold me tighlty. But alas you are not there to scold me. Please talk to me just once. Say my name just once. I miss your smile and that laugh when i showed you my results. When i do something good now you are not there to give me a smile. I want to learn walking once again holding that finger of yours. I want to say aloud your name thinking that u would reply. I know that All of that atempt of mine are futile. I can just pray to God that he unites me with you in the hereafter. AMEN (Marc)